Yesterday, Lunger and I made a pitcher of Sangria with homemade wine and watched three episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation in a row. Needless to say, we got a little tipsy. Despite our inebriation, we still couldn’t completely suspend our disbelief.
“When is that Tasha Yar chick going to die? Is it this episode?” I asked, scowling at the television.
“I hope so, she’s so boring. I mean, what, besides random security questions, is her purpose on the Enterprise?” Lunger asked and poured himself another drink.
“I have no idea! And her hair is so weird. It’s short AND poufy!”
“Noooo...I like her hair. Short hair is cool.” Here, I chuckled derisively.
“Commander Riker is so the Shatner of this series.” I shook my head.
“He gets better.”
“Not much. Besides, he’s always getting with the ladies and making that weird face where he squints one of his eyes.”
“Hmmph.” Lunger slurped the last of his drink. “You know how they made those beaming images? They put glitter in a glass of water and filmed it. Then they super-imposed it over people in the transporting scenes.”
“No way!” I shouted, “That’s so cool!”
“Yeah, look at the sparklies.”
“Hah! You know, I always thought they made Data for the Federation.”
“No, they found him on this planet. Look! It’s a plastic mould of his face!”
“I wonder why they made his nose so big. Oh wait, didn’t that Dr. Soong guy make him look like a younger version of himself?”
“Yeah, he did.”
“Is it just me, or does Data seem jealous of Lore? I thought he didn’t experience human emotions.” I crunched on some ice and cocked my head to one side.
“I think he’s just suspicious of his ‘brother’.”
“Yeah, he seems kind of evil. Isn’t Lore evil or something?”
“Nah, it’s more like he’s agendafied.”
“What’s his agenda?”
“I don’t exactly remember. We watch a lot of Star Trek. Does that make us Trekkies?”
“No, we just like it. I think you have to go to a convention to be a Trekkie, and like wear Vulcan ears or something.”
“Well, I did go to that one convention.” Lunger conceded.
“That was an accident.” I argued. “You just stayed at the same hotel.”
“True. We should look up the definition of Trekkie. Do you think it’s in the dictionary?”
Actually, it’s not. But, on Wikipedia it says: “Trekkie (or Trekker) is a term that in recent decades has been used to describe a fan of the Star Trek science fiction franchise.” I think that’s too broad a definition. I’m not willing to admit I’m a Trekkie until I possess my own Klingon mask and federation uniform. I don’t even read those crazy novels based on the TV series. I’d like to hold on to what dignity I have left.